Sad to say, but I am tired again.
I am 'trained' and 'asked' to be strong and set aside emotions for work, but can I choose to be weak, for at least once, at times?
Need that sparkle to light up my passion again, and that little motivation to get me back on my feet. I'm not moving, just staying put on the same old ground that I've stood on all these while.
I've got a sudden desire, to venture out, and to see the 'world' out there.
Supposed to meet CY and girls for drinks but seems like a hassle aka private event so rejected as mood was too lousy to chat or hear of explanations etc.
This playground has been under your control all these while, at least 75% and you choose to give it up today. I understand, accept and respect your decision, with appreciation of the effort that you have made for the past few months. I've tried to persuade but it seems like I need a miracle for it to work.
I knew you tried and put in your best, but if it's gonna be done in the dark, no one will know till you explain as we don't get to see the background.
The so called 'ugly bunch' of flowers may take the Florist to: Trim the stalks, cut into different lengths, remove the thorns, match the colors from wrapper to ribbons, arranging sunflowers with roses and lilies with nice little 'forget-me-not' and 满天星 to become a big bouquet. Every single effort and thoughts made yearned to be appreciated too. No one will fault anyone for blaming it to be ugly, but won't the florist gets devastated if he knows that it was said to be ugly, and not even a "Thank You" at all? The world is round; what goes around, comes around depending on how sensitive one is for any remarks made.
There's nothing I can do, to make you comfortable if I cannot get your support and involvement. It was great knowing and working with you as a team, talking things out but at times, I do get uncomfy as you are too smart a person to work with.
It's uncomfortable when I need to stay 90% awake, making sure that I speak for the right person, right issue and nothing bias nor 'wrong' to ensure that I do not get rebutted. Should I use the word argumentative? It's tiring, and I'm learning everyday on how to be tactful with my words and resolve conflicts and unhappiness via the easier method - communicate.
I never had problems working with you and it has been a joy in fact to see that we are 'better off'. I respected your knowledge, exposure, the 'never give in' attitude and the ability to enforce rules and regulations. I understand that, that's only your front in order to get things on the right path, but... on the other hand, I'm facing issues when other misunderstood you, trying to explain on your behalf and passing messages. Argh, I know if you read this, you'll tell me, "don't try, not needed"! - I think you're tired too...
Guess, it didn't start off right as it was really a case of a once bitten, twice shy. Let alone, it's the third time. Trust, relationship building and teamwork didn't not happen overnight with the rest and things continued to sour when majority tend to leave things as it was... little tried.
Oh well, at least I tried. It has been a good game for the past few months and I believed, I learnt something out from here again. To be better protected, situational aware, speak up, be firm and knowledgeable in order to gain bargaining power.
At very least, we still get to work for the next 1 month or so... I'll treasure these times.
Meanwhile, I'll pray for miracle to happen! Surprises does pop by my life once in a while...
Hey dearest CY,
Dearest Chengyi,
Happy 23rd Birthday! (12/08)
Got to do this in advance, earlier is better than late :)
Enjoy and hope you'll like it...
Click here for the link to view
I must claim some credit here for I spent a a lot of time doing this hor! 1st time doing this and stupid Internet Explorer and photobucket kept hanging... Strangle you if you don't like because I burnt my Sunday night and PH just to get this up for you huh.
Luckily I have always been updating my photographs constantly and have a good collection as it still took a lot of time to find the 'chio-est' photo of you! (I had a hard time doing that, because, you always do monkey faces-ROAR!) Just imagine if I upload my photos once in many months, I can never have this done up.
Anyway, I apologise for any 'you-know-what-la' and it was not meant to happen that way right from the start. Enjoy the celebration tonight and please, don't wear 'too casual', it's your day~ kindly dress up! Bleah.
Lastly, thanks for being such a great buddy!
The times spent on psycho-ing each other to attend (skip) lesson, crazy mugging, exam's stress, #*@!*, complaining about anything under the sky, clubbing craze, the long john silver syndromes whenever we meet for dinner, Mahjong Fridays and too much more to even state... seems so unimportant but it's what that bonds us!
What's work and unhappiness?
Throw them aside and have a great birthday, as you deserved it!
2 more days to our dear Chengyi Birthday!
Check out the next blog entry for the completed scrapbook...
I'm proud to be a Singaporean and although we are not yet perfect, I still love Singapore for the fact that we are a young yet, well-established.
Happy Birthday Singapore!!!
I remembered, that I used to dislike hearing the minister's opening speeches or any other National day/rallies etc when I was young.
Recalled the time when there are no SCV, and Channel 5 and 8 will show the same program at the same time. Boring right?
But... as I entered the workforce, I realized that these speeches are important and started to appreciate it. Indirectly, I gain insights of how leaders lead, where Singapore is moving towards, general updates that are important to the workforce and the communities overall well being.
Some may agree or disagree with the contents and might felt that it's nothing but talk, but hey... without these leaders, commoners who are not well-educated might not even know what is happening.
Speeches like such, even if it creates negative responses... will be able to indirectly, pass down important messages such as hearing taxi uncles complaining about recession, coffeeshop aunties saying how much they are cost cutting to manage rising living costs, how a dollar has shirked, and for me, it's more of how to tap on Government advices, foresights and assistances available to stand stronger during hard times.
This year's message by PM Lee, was to call for unity to face challenges ahead. I agreed, as this is what we required most at work too. Unity is the key to success... Sigh! Challenges ahead are a great hurdle, will unity create miracles and will success be proven with faith?
Half-way through our journey outside, I mumbled and sing-along for The plegde and I remembered.
Chris: Started humming the full song to bf, and repeating in words two times to highlight bf mistakes.
Therefore, I did recite The National Pledge today, but was a little ealier instead of at 8.22pm. Ha-ha!
Although we have quite a lot of last minute stuff to follow up due to a short notice period for moving, we managed to move out quite smoothly for the Operations, Kitchen and Office!
Attn dearies,
Singapore's turning 44th soon! 1 more week to go...
