一切，已成为定局。
Voices from Within;
Nov 07 - Nov 10, and it's time for a closure.
Thought through hard and long for this tag, and am still loving it.
There are always a lot of thoughts, that cannot be said,
and a lot of internal voices, that keeps ringing in my mind.
When such thoughts happen, this is the best place to come.
This is a place for all my ups and downs,
a place that never fails to clear my thoughts,
a place that will never reject my grumbles,
a place to jot down important occasions,
and a place to walk me through my memory lane.
It has been a good and long journey for keepsake,Am leaving this blog-sphere for good.- Friends who linked me, got to delete me off alright :)
- On a side note - 11years of relationships with different learning lessons;taught me how to love yet not love, give yet not give, seen me through happiness, bitterness and sadness,shaped me to be independent and nonchalant.
Enough of lessons.I's time for graduation, and time for change.What is to come will come; no point being preventive.
No more defensive acts for it's tiring.
What will hurt, will be painful; prudence don't help any
way.
I'm leaving all now, to give an end.
What is over is over,
What is an end is a new start for all.
Adiós mis amigos
Keep all of your smiles in check friends, don't lose them (^.^)
*smiled*
The heart's cold, it's just another beautiful mistake. 10:32 AM
not ready.
heartaches
thought that I am ok, but it'll still hurt randomly.
am i doing things right?
don't understand why.
perhaps, I shouldn't move so fast.
Although there are many regrets in us, I've never regretted knowing and having you in the journey of my life... Thank you for everything, something that I wanted to tell you besides sorry - "Thank you" for all the time and understanding, till now, it is still tough.
This time, it's really gonna be a closure, take care and I wish you all the best! Your texts reminds me that, it's almost impossible to stay as friends. I respect your decision and understand why so... Deep in my heart, i wish you well and I'm apologetic for every single thing and word that I have said. Sorry that I've hurt you.
The heart's cold, it's just another beautiful mistake. 11:52 AM
Many wondered,
Many pondered,
Including you and I.
What has went wrong after so long.
We,
Were seen to have the perfect ending,
that everyone expects.
With upcoming bells and house,
Happiness and joy.
But, all these are like facades...
Always beautiful but different from reality.
Many wondered,
Many pondered,
Including you and I.
What has went wrong after so long.
We,
Have countless of unspoken thoughts and plans,For the different future that you and I see,
That are left unspoken and forgotten of,
Through silent communications and assumption.
But, all these are like facades...
Always beautiful but different from reality.
Many wondered, Many pondered, Including you and I.What has went wrong after so long.We,
Walked through different phases,
Passed through various stages,
Assuming unspoken plans would come true.
To only come to an end that all didn't expect.
Sorry,that I'm letting go,
that I'm moving on,
is the only thing I can say, Sorry,
that I lost the love,that I lost courage,
to start all over.
Today marks the day.
The heart's cold, it's just another beautiful mistake. 11:45 AM
into many pieces.
Lost myself.
The heart's cold, it's just another beautiful mistake. 10:09 AM
Past few months have been the dimmest journey of 'our' lives in short... We have to endure things that we didn't expect to happen and letting go of things that we never thought of leaving.
Having to go against all the external factors to fight for what one wants, is a tiring choice :( It's a choice that I got to make as it might just hurt more in future. I'm selfish and I just want to run away from it...
It is definitely not an easy choice to make, in order to let go for us.
Haven't been myself for the past few months, bet 'u' were too.
Heart vs Head. Emotions vs Logic. Wants vs Needs.
Bumping and getting around, trying possibilities but all didn't seemed to work.Took a break to search for what is the real need but it didn't work as need is not felt.Struggled, tried to convince myself that it is possible to move on but only to realize that it's hard!I can't ignore my emotions that's overwhelming, and my heart's telling me no!
Struggled, to let go.
Saw that as the best option for this is a lifetime commitment, no longer a simple 'let's be together'. I am not ready to accept for my heart's going against it. I thought I could do it, but I'm sorry as I really can't... Hated myself for everything, and causing all the misery... Refused to take the final step but it looked like that is the only way out.
"I'm sorry" is all that I could say and I know even a million times won't help.
Sorry don't make sense to 'u' but I really have to let go.
I rather hurt 'u' now then let it hurt more in future.
This is my choice and I'm sorry to leave 'u' with no choice and to make 'u' upset.
It hurts me to let go, and to lose those who loved and cared for me,
it's gonna be a kind of regret.
But why continue if I do not see happiness out of it.
'U' might want to try, to fight for that happiness rather than give it all up...
but I'm sorry. I know clearly what is going to happen if we ever took that plunge.
Someone will be hurt again and I have no wish to go through another heartbreaking affair.
Went through lots of soul-searching and self reprimanding to only realize that it'll make things worst. Tried to stop thinking and go ahead with whatever that comes along but feeling's suffocating. Wants to go ahead and follow my heart / head but guilt, selfishness and agony got into me... I can't continue this way to mislead 'u' yet i fear of hurting 'u' so much that I do not know how!!! I do not wish to hurt anyone... I've lost myself in this game though I won eventually to get what I want.
Walked through this period with my friends, you guys know who you are and I am really grateful for that. Advices are not given, but listening ears are provided. For those who didn't ask a lot, but knew that I am not doing well, thank you for every single "Are you okay", "We're always around", You have our support"... It all meant a lot to me, just in case you thought it's just another 'Are you ok?'.
The heart's cold, it's just another beautiful mistake. 4:38 PM
What exactly is going on...?
I have no freaking idea... !
I need someone's help... !
I need to see a light... !
I want to be myself... !
I do not want anything... anymore!
"我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的"
The heart's cold, it's just another beautiful mistake. 12:16 PM
3 months have passed in a flash and many things have changed during this period.
Countless things that I have said,
could easily exceed words that I have said in a year.
Lots of things to blog,
but logic's not allowing me so.
Bad moments happened repeatedly,
making everybody upset.
I'm sorry if I'm the cause.
My apologies to those whom I've hurt during this period.
At times I wondered...
if I should have followed my head.
if I should have just moved on.
if I should not follow my heart.
if I should not mention my feel.
Left 1st love, and learns to protect oneself.
Leaving my heart tightly secured.
The heart that once opened after 1st love,
closed again without me knowing.
It's nobody elses fault but mine.
Sorry makes no sense but I'm sorry.
The heart's cold, it's just another beautiful mistake. 6:19 PM
NELLY - Just a Dream
I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.
I was at the top and I was like I’m at the basement.
Number one spot and now she found her a replacement.
I swear now I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby.
And now you ain't around, baby I can't think.
Shoulda put it down. Shoulda got that ring.
Cuz I can still feel it in the air.
See her pretty face run my fingers through her hair.
My lover, my life. My shorty, my wife.
She left me, I'm tied.
Cuz I knew that it just ain't right.
I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.
When I be ridin man I swear I see her face at every turn.
Tryin to get my usher over, I can let it burn.
And I just hope she notice she the only one I yearn for.
Oh I miss her when will I learn?
Didn't give her all my love, I guess now I got my payback.
Now I'm in the club thinkin all about my baby.
Hey, she was so easy to love. But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough.
I'm goin through it every time that I'm alone.
And now i'm missin, wishin she'd pick up the phone.
But she made a decision that she wanted to move one.
Cuz I was wrong.
And I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything.
I said, if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything.
I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.
And I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.
Just A Dream lyrics
Nelly Just A Dream lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/nelly-just-a-dream-lyrics.html
The heart's cold, it's just another beautiful mistake. 6:12 PM